Mr Vile's Game
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Banjo and Kazooie are through with the greedy croc's dishonesty


"I have the tremendous might to halt your advance, evil!" Banjo announced as he clutched the Breegull Blaster tightly in his bear hands.

Bottles popped out of his molehill and wielded twin beam katana. "Banjo, have you any inkling as to how much of a pestilence this horrid fiend is responsible for?"

Banjo grunted and pulled a grenade out of his pocket. He shoved it down Kazooie's throat and she spat it out to far distances, destroying half the temple. "Any more comments, Holy Moly?" Kazooie smirked.

Bottles was amazed by not only Banjo's incredibly heroic audacity, but also his firm glutes. Banjo could crush the necks of many a foe with his cheeking destructors.

Banjo walked forward and planted more charges across the room. "Show yourself!" he growled.

Then it finally happened. The crimson warrior of malevolence stepped forth and readied his plasma fists. "Cor, you are here to feel the wrath, aren't ya, greenie?" said the malicious crocodile.

"Mr. Vile…" seethed Banjo as he sucked his nose into his own face out of anger. He had lost so much today and he wasn't about to let Mr. Vile get away with it.

Banjo's nose was inhaled so far that it exited through his left ear canal. It detached and fell to the floor. The nose then slithered over to Bottles and stole his glasses. The nose then gain vision as if by beautiful magic. It peered over at Banjo and Kazooie.

"Oh snappa," said the now-blind Bottles.

"My son," said the nose. "This is your destiny. Do not let this dangerous beast wreak havoc any longer."

"Yes, father," said Banjo. He reloaded Kazooie with fire eggs and stepped forward. He then performed the accurate toe movements in order to summon his stand, Mr. Patch.

"It's big top time!" said Mr. Patch as he inflated to the size of death. He shot explosive beach balls at Mr. Vile, but the wicked croc had a jaw of danger that destroyed any trace of the combustible nylon.

"This is bad," Banjo said through gritted teeth. He sprouted the wings of Eyrie from his backpack. He had been keeping the mighty eagle in his backpack since Kazooie was now in Breegull Blaster mode.

"You really think you can defeat me?" laughed Mr. Vile as he called upon his own stand, the Outlaw Josey Wales.

"Banjo, you are a hero. Act like one," said the nose.

Mumbo then ran in with a Glowbo. He perform a spell on Banjo that made his pecs and abs beefier than you could ever even imagine.

"This slouch can't even hit me!" laughed Mr. Vile. He then swung his deadly sword that he had used to steal the lives of every resident of Bubblegloop Swamp.

"That monster…" grumbled Bottles, remembering the live vile evil.

Kazooie shot the fire eggs and they struck the walls, bouncing off and hitting Mr. Vile's nose off. But Mr. Vile had living nose powers just like Banjo. His nose stood up and put on some glasses. It took out a rad rifle and blasted Captain Blubber dead.

Banjo was shocked by the offence. Lord Woo Fak Fak screamed in horror at the death and rushed over to Captain Blubber (he had robot legs with snazzy sneakers BTdubs).

"You monster!" screeched Banjo as he charged forward and kicked Mr. Vile's sword with his extreme toe.

Mr. Vile caught the toe in his plasma grip and strangled all of Banjo's foot abilities out of his soul. Banjo was footless now.

Mr. Vile laughed and then used his stand to feast upon the pizza that Cortez (from Paper Mario) had recently married.

Banjo was so upset by this, but not as much as Lord Woo Fak Fak, who was so distressed about the heartbreaking hippo slaying. Lord Woo Fak Fak dropped mighty tears upon the dead captain and then directed his shiny head attachment at the evil croc. "I know your father!" he screamed as he launched his lethal lasers out of the attachment and destroyed the sword.

"Now is my chance, homie!" said Banjo. He flew up with Eyrie's wings and used the Beak Bomb to strike Mr. Vile head-on.

Mr. Vile was hit very badly and his forehead split open and his skeleton popped out.

"Blimey! You haven't defeated me yet!" laughed Mr. Vile and he shot plasma from his skeleton fists in order to destroy the hopes and dreams of Jinjos everywhere.

"Dang all butts…" growled Banjo. He loaded Kazooie with the secret technique: hamburgers. Kazooie shot the meat out and it coated Mr. Vile's plasma like a thick layer of paint.

"What is this feeling?" Mr. Vile asked the Outlaw Josey Wales.

"Never underestimate the power of teamwork!" shouted Banjo and he used his own rear to wrap around Mr. Vile's skeleton and break all of its structure into smithereens. He continued to crush the broken bones into dust and the two noses crawled over and ate of the particles.

Mumbo ran up to Banjo and seized him by the shoulder. "It's over, Banjo. Cease your violent actions. He's gone."

Banjo looked down at his loss of feet and the destruction of the world burning below him. He dropped to his knees and wept bitterly.

The world would never be the same. Not without Captain Blubber.

**FIN**


End file.
